The Elephant in the Room

Nitin Pillai

2022-12-23

Conflict was both easy and difficult, if you were trained in it. With proper training and a modicum of assertion it was easy to address the elephant in the room with the intent to solve it. It was impossible to completely ignore and to carry on. We just didn’t have the spatial allowance to move away from conflict and believe that it would solve itself. Houses were small, work stations were close by, families were tight thus the conflict was also invasive. But because of this we managed conflicts. An innate skill developed in most of us to face the difference of opinion, to present our views, to argue about our rights and then find an amicable solution, if not the best possible one. However, this changed. 

Social media gave us the spatial escape route that we lacked before. If today, you do not want to address issues in person you can very well go down the rabbit hole that is social media. You can disappear in the fantasy world of user created content including TikTok videos and Insta Reels and momentarily forget the reason why you needed an escape. Social media gives you the opportunity to circumvent reality, in all its ugliness, for a fabricated one. In doing so, you do not realize that the elephant in the room hasn’t magically disappeared. It stays there, poor thing can’t even lurk due to it’s size! It stands rooted in the middle of the room, while all parties involved in its elephant creation walk around it, evading it, as they peer into the make belief world of social media. Just a word of caution, the elephant will trumpet one day and it will run amok.  

Conflicts are and always will be a way to connect. Painting them as a negative emotion/ activity and running away from conflicts is unwarranted and downright cowardice. General opinion is to avoid conflict under the garb of “it not being your place” or “it not being your style”. However, if conflicts are managed they can create stronger bonds than what existed before. Difference of opinion arise because people are invested. This investment and it’s intensity leads to conviction which would differ from others and grow into conflict. It would be wise to address the differences and try to get to the root of it. There can only be two outcomes, either a cordial relation would develop or you would end up severing it. Either way it works for inner engineering. 

Social media gives infinite opportunities to get lost, to ignore, to find what reality doesn’t offer. It gives a fleeting sense of calmness that you ached for rather than facing the animosity or contention looming heavily around. Although, it is temporary.  How about tearing yourself away from the digitalized world, involving yourself in a dialogue with the person and finding a solution?

It is a simple three step process:

Look Up

Engage

Move On

How about trying it? 


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